Active Addiction 2006
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Today Clean & Serene
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My Story
The reality is, in June 2006 I was literally committing suicide finally surrendering to my addiction. Sitting in a seedy motel room all alone with only my vodka, sleeping pills, crack pipe, and heroin; no family or friends. They all wanted to rescue me but they finally accepted the fact that they couldn't. Living in filth and dirt, disgusted with myself as hatred and resentments filled my heart to the core, but it had to stop, I couldn't breathe anymore. I was a disloyal wife, abusive mother, jealous friend, thief, prostitute, murderer, ex-con, liar, cheater, gossiper, envious, self-centered, and the list could go on and on. So as I prepared myself for my demise, washing off the physical dirt and making up my face as to try and hide all of the pain, to mask the scars, & run from all of the unfinished work that still needed to be done but giving no consideration for the internal filth that was clouding my thinking, that was clouding the love that everyone was trying to give me, that clouded the faces of my 3 beautiful children & my God fearing husband. And the words on my lips were not God help me but in pure desperation - my words were "I can't do it anymore!!!!!!!" Waking up every morning hurts - not just me but everyone around me. The pills and the alcohol were having an effect and I knew my time would not be long - finally the pain would end.
Waking up 3 days later in a mental institution I thought to myself another failed attempt to stop the pain - but then a sense of hope & love overwhelmed me and all I could see was God. As He held me in His arms I begin to realize He left His throne and went all the way to hell to rescue me. For the first time in 20 years I could feel a sense of freedom that was embodying me. His grace and mercy gave me another chance to get it right.
Lisa Bryson, Executive Director
The reality is, in June 2006 I was literally committing suicide finally surrendering to my addiction. Sitting in a seedy motel room all alone with only my vodka, sleeping pills, crack pipe, and heroin; no family or friends. They all wanted to rescue me but they finally accepted the fact that they couldn't. Living in filth and dirt, disgusted with myself as hatred and resentments filled my heart to the core, but it had to stop, I couldn't breathe anymore. I was a disloyal wife, abusive mother, jealous friend, thief, prostitute, murderer, ex-con, liar, cheater, gossiper, envious, self-centered, and the list could go on and on. So as I prepared myself for my demise, washing off the physical dirt and making up my face as to try and hide all of the pain, to mask the scars, & run from all of the unfinished work that still needed to be done but giving no consideration for the internal filth that was clouding my thinking, that was clouding the love that everyone was trying to give me, that clouded the faces of my 3 beautiful children & my God fearing husband. And the words on my lips were not God help me but in pure desperation - my words were "I can't do it anymore!!!!!!!" Waking up every morning hurts - not just me but everyone around me. The pills and the alcohol were having an effect and I knew my time would not be long - finally the pain would end.
Waking up 3 days later in a mental institution I thought to myself another failed attempt to stop the pain - but then a sense of hope & love overwhelmed me and all I could see was God. As He held me in His arms I begin to realize He left His throne and went all the way to hell to rescue me. For the first time in 20 years I could feel a sense of freedom that was embodying me. His grace and mercy gave me another chance to get it right.
Lisa Bryson, Executive Director